Student / staff ratio and incentive to cheat

The game is on: the game to manipulate statistics and climb up in the league tables. One of the factors taken into account by the ranking makers is the student / staff ratio. This is supposed to reflect the amount of attention individual students should expect to get from lecturers. The Degree Farm used to do well in this category by counting all possible members of staff, including admin and estate personnel (maintenance, cleaners, etc.). For example our student / lecturer ratio is somewhere around 30/1 but the tables give a figure in mid teens. The ranking makers realised that universities played dirty and decided to tighten the rules: in order to count a member of staff in, that person must have a teaching qualification or appropriate teaching experience. What to do? How to keep our place in the rankings? Should we hire more lecturers? Wait, the rules say that a person must have a teaching qualification but they don't say that the person must actually teach. EUREKA! Let's make our admin staff take a PG certificate in teaching in higher education! We run it in house anyway so it won't cost much and we'll save our sweet spot in the league tables. Pure Degree Farm genius!