Advice of the week

So the advice of the week comes from the boss. Although we are required to do research and publish under the afiliation to the Degree Farm, we are supposed to do it purely out of our love for research.
How should it work in practice? We should work on research during weekends and Christmas. By the way, Christmas counts as our annual leave - we are forced to use our annual leave allowance during those days (fair enough but don't tell me to work during that time!). So sorry family, l can't join you for the Christmas dinner because I need to work on that paper...!
Weekends? Hello Boss! Have you forgotten that you're already forcing us to work about five Saturdays a year as open days plus clearing without any compensation, whatsoever? Oh wait, forgive us, we've forgotten that we still have 52 Sundays in a year...

This is just an icing on the cake: out of that love for research we are required to publish a 3* or 4* paper a year. But then again silly us, our (now) Dean kindly informed us that this should be dead easy and they could write a 4* publishable paper in two nights! That awesome Dean has a master's  degree from the Degree Farm as their highest degree and has never experienced real research. Yet, (s)he's got a vital say on how we should do research and how it is resourced...

Greetings from the Degree Farm!